October 6, 2013
My training partner, Chris, felt inspired from completing the half marathon. He asked if I would join him in taking part in a sprint triathlon. I told him that I struggled to swim a length so it wouldn’t be possible. I thought about it … Chris had not been a runner but had trained really hard for my half marathon. How could I say no? I told him I would need help to learn to swim. He told me he couldn’t swim either lol. It would be a challenge for us both. I thought of it as another challenge. We organised a swimming lesson.
October 10, 2013
There’s a high chance that your mood will be affected once you gain insight. Having awareness that I was struggling was hard for me to take. Losing your identity isn’t something you can come to terms with overnight. Brain injury doesn’t only cause maximum damage, it drags on so long even a saint would become annoyed. I suffered with low mood daily. I don’t know how I got out of bed some days.
October 13, 2013
Chris and I went for a swimming lesson with a coach called Ronny. He was going to watch us swim and offer advice. I was dreading it as I was a terrible swimmer. We would need to do front crawl for the triathlon. He watched me as I struggled to get through a length. He offered some advice on posture and rhythm. He then said to exhale whilst in the water… ‘You can’t breathe in water’, I said.
‘You can exhale’, he fired back.
‘Don’t be stupid, no you can’t’, I said.
‘Are you taking the piss?’ he asked.
‘Are you?’, I said. Chris was there and asked if I was OK. He asked if I had forgotten. I was confused so I dunked my head under and exhaled … I came up like a small child and shouted ‘wow that’s amazing’. We all laughed.
At this point Chris realised that swimming was not my strong point.
October 16, 2013
I felt so low. My neuropsychologist was on maternity so I went to the doctors to seek some help. I was referred to mental health. I was assessed and put on high priority. I got an appointment with a psychotherapist called Lisa Harris. I went to Lisa feeling worthless, tired of my endless battle.
October 22, 2013
There were lots of times during recovery that I wanted to drop to my knees and scream. Pure anger and frustration at my situation. Some days really pushed me to the limit. I was like a pressure cooker ready to blow. I would ride through that feeling until it passed. Looking back, I think I should have gone with that feeling and let rip, screamed, cried, whatever! I think it would have done me some good. The negative emotions were building within. Not expressing them was taking up valuable mind space and stealing the chance of happiness.
October 25, 2013
Since I was going to tackle a triathlon I would need a road bike. I was nervous about cycling on the road. I felt worried about my poor memory and attention. Also, I wasn’t very confident in manoeuvring around junctions and roundabouts etc. I didn’t want this anxiety to beat me and built some confidence by going out early on a Sunday morning when there was minimal traffic. I really enjoyed it and was out on my bike all the time!
October 28, 2013
I was going to the local swimming baths every Wednesday, trying to get the hang of it. I seemed to sink like a brick, but I was persistent. I would get there!